


Miles and Ivan walk into a bar...

by Rose_Milburn



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Bad Puns, Gen, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 15:44:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17025486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Milburn/pseuds/Rose_Milburn
Summary: READ AT YOUR PERILI'm like Ivan. This is not my fault. I blame RGMolpus and Gwynne for this in its entirety.





	Miles and Ivan walk into a bar...

Miles and Ivan walk into a bar…

 

 

The dust had finally settled after the _Not Guilty_ vote. Cadet Kosigan had kept his nose clean for three whole months. In honour of the Emperor’s birthday there was no drill parade the next morning. It was time to relax. 

Ivan collared him after dinner and they headed for the cadet mess. “You’re buying, coz. You still owe me. If it hadn’t been for me you’d be rotting in the Great Square right now.”

The first glass hardly touched the sides. The second really hit the spot. By the third, Ivan started to become loquacious. “You know something, Miles? That freighter captain…she was…something else. We even had sex in the lift tube.”

Miles slammed his drink down on the table. “Ivan, that’s just _wrong_ on so many levels…”

Ivan peered at the bottom of his empty glass. “I put in a claim for compensation, you know. All my things were still on the fast courier. ImpSec wouldn’t have a bar of it. I lost my case…”

Miles giggled into his glass. “Good job that’s all you lost., otherwise you’d be just like boiling water.”

Ivan looked croggled. “Huh?”

Miles giggled again, “You’d be mist.”

Ivan’s sense of injustice grew with the fourth glass. “They have capital punishment on Tau Verde, Miles. _Electric chairs_ , of all things. I was really shocked when I found out.”

Ivan had never been past Komarr before Hesse had sent him away. He didn’t have the sophistication Miles’ year on Beta had brought him. Miles found himself pitying his tall and handsome cousin. “What are you having trouble with, Ivan? I’m reading the book on anti-gravity at the moment.”

“Oh, that one,” Ivan groaned. “It’s impossible to put it down, isn’t it? But I was talking about my trip. Did you ever try that pasta restaurant at Solstice?”

“Papa Luigi’s? Great food, no atmosphere.”

“Yeah, that’s the one. They use fake noodles, though. They’re impostas.”

The two of them gloomily inspected their empty glasses. Miles was beginning to regret getting drunk. “They say non-alcoholic wine tastes good.”

Ivan shook his head. “There’s no proof.”

Perhaps it was time for bed. Miles tried to stand up. “I needed this, Ivan. Nothing hurts anymore.”

“Huh. If you can drink away your hurts it must be champagne.”

“It’s better than a beer hangover, though. That’s a bit of a brewed awakening. I’m going to bed.”

Ivan managed to stand up after his first try. “I could say I'm not tired, but I’m not going to lie. My bed is broken.”

“Serves you right, but I’ll be up before you, anyway. Taller people sleep longer in bed.”

“Yeah. Good night, coz.”

“Goodnight, Ivan. Sleep tight.”


End file.
